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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when:

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to send this to.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND FINALLY NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Question: What do you call a prostitute that "tweets" on Twitter?

Answer: a Twatter, silly!

Archeology Find

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, in California an archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: ' California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.'

One week later, ' The Montgomery Advertiser, a local newspaper in Alabama, reported the following:

After digging as deep as 300 feet in his pasture near Pine Level, Autauga County Alabama, Bubba Mitchell, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Alabama had already gone wireless.




Thank God for Bubba. Who said Alabamians were hicks?

MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUT SHELL
 
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,
 
"Hello." "Mrs. Sanders, please." 
 
"Speaking." 
 
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory.
    
When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good." 
 
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. 
 
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV.   We can't tell which is which." 
 
"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders. 
 
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these
expensive tests one time." 
 
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" 
 
"The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your 
husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

You know you're from Western Mass if...

1. You don't speak with a Boston accent, but you can spot a fake one a mile away.

2. You get upset when Worcester is referenced as being "west".

3. You have never been to the new Basketball Hall of Fame, other than to go to the restaurants

4. You took at least one elementary school field trip to the Quadrangle or Symphony Hall.

5. You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter & road construction

6. You have used the heater and air conditioner in your car on the same day

7. You used to drive to packies New Hampshire on Sundays before they were allowed to open in MA

8. You know what a "packie" is.

9. You think everyone from Connecticut (and Longmeadow) is a snob and everyone from Vermont is a hippie.

10. You have enrolled in at least one class at STCC.

11. You know at least three people that work for Baystate Health System.

12. You always call it Western Mass. (or WMass in writing), never Western Massachusetts.

13. You don't really consider the Berkshires to be part of WMass.

14. You had the Royal Fuzz bust your high school keg party in Russell, Blandford, Granville or Otis.

15. You know who the Royal Fuzz are.

16. You still call the local Fox affiliate, "Channel 61".

17. You have never been to a Starbucks but you know the location of the nearest Dunkin Donuts no matter what city/town you're in

18. You went to Bright Nights when it first started but haven't been back since.

19. You don't pronounce the "h" in Amherst

20. You know when somebody says UMass, they mean the one in Amherst and not Lowell, Dartmouth or Boston

21. You have tried nine different "shortcuts" to avoid the Coolidge Bridge traffic on Route 9.

22. You still call Six Flags, Riverside

23. You still call the MassMutual Center, the Civic Center

24. You drive 80 MPH on I-91 at all times; rain, shine, sleet or snow.

25. You consider anything that is more than 15 minutes and/or two towns away to be "far".

26. You have been to Connecticut's state capital, Hartford, more than your own.

27. You say to yourself "It's not that bad out" while driving through a Nor'easter.

28. You wish Mountain Park & Mt. Tom was still open

29. You have never been on a PVTA bus but when you're in Boston, you ride the T because "it's fun".

30. You know where the largest St. Patrick's Day parade in New England (and second largest in the country) takes place.

31. You have a love/hate relationship with downtown Springfield.

32. You leave at 7:00 AM on a Sunday to come back from vacationing on the Cape to beat the traffic at Exit 9 on the MassPike.

33. You will drive to the Yankee Candle flagship store in South Deerfield even though it's 45 minutes out of your way and there are three other Yankee Candle stores that are closer to your house

34. You call Riverdale St., Riverdale Rd.

35. You "know someone" who will let you park for free on their property during the Big E.

36. You let your car idle for 20 minutes on a cold winter morning to defrost the windows instead of taking 20 seconds to scrape them.

37. You have bar-hopped at golf course clubhouses

38. You felt a sense of pride when Snoop Dogg wore a Springfield Indians jersey in the Gin & Juice video.

39. You have attended a function at Chez Josef

40. You know that Northampton is full of lesbians, Ludlow is full of Portuguese, Holyoke is full of Irish and Bondi's Island is full of shit.


For info on Bondi's Island, click on the link below.

http://everything2.com/e2node/Bondi%2527s%2520Island

Celebrating the Age of Bush

The commemorative coin set

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